I Ghosted You…Here’s Why
Hey Sis,
I've been grappling with how to say this and the more time I let pass, the harder it becomes. Earlier this year, I was fortunate enough to participate in the Black social media movement known as Hillmantok University. Although new to the app, I was excited at the idea of sharing my work with you!
What started as a movement for/of community, turned awry as the human desire for validation seemed to disrupt what was genuinely good work. A few of you even asked if I would continue, to which I agreed. However, I had NOT dealt with the discomfort I felt in my body at the thought of being associated with confusion. So...I ghosted you. Am I proud of that? NO. But let me tell you why.
I started this work over a decade ago, and built my platform on healing through transparency, and in all transparency, I didn’t have the time or energy. I did not want to align myself with chaos, bullshit, and/or social media drama. Between preparing for my child to go to college, caring for a sibling after surgery being a full-time Licensed Mental Health Professional in school settings, losing two students in the same school within a 2-month timeframe and holding space for a grieving community, I was at capacity. Have you ever taken on a responsibility you thought you could handle, but life was life-ing and it was no longer a priority?
At the time, I felt I didn't owe anyone shit as it's taken years to heal the people pleasing energy I'd struggled with, but it resurfaced, and I didn't know what to do with it. In an effort to practice self-preservation, I unintentionally caused harm by leaving some of you hanging, and for that, I apologize.
So what now? Well...I don't know. Some of you will unsubscribe, some will stay, and some of you probably never even made it this far down. I’m currently in between identities both personally and professionally. I just celebrated entering my 39th year and there are some things I want to carry with me, but in true Taurus fashion, others I want to release. I’d love for you to stay and keep me company on this journey and maybe…just maybe…we can walk each other home.
With understanding,
Gabrielle
